Thank you for reading Recovering Couples Do Heal (Part 1 of 2). Below are a few characteristics and practices that Recovering Couples consider important and helpful as they work toward becoming stronger people who are creating a stronger relationship.
Recovering Couples (“RC”) embrace and grow as spiritual people, and draw heavily on inspirational literature, music, or practices that motivate, focus, guide and empower them to live sanely one day at a time.
RC adopt healthy rituals based on the values they choose to live by. RCs say I love you (Love), talk with each other before making major purchases (Collaboration) to name a few new rituals.
RC realize that loving their neighbor (their spouse, children, etc.) in healthy ways flows from what they have learned regarding how to love their own self in healthy ways.
RC don’t self medicate their feelings through their sexuality. However, RCs bring health and power to the sexual crucible when their spiritual attunement helps them to value each other…
… and in the process return honor, worth, desire, enjoyment, protection and love to this sacred and precious part of their existence, their sexuality and their sexual expression.
RC listen to their conscience, to the “wiggles” in their gut and to their Higher Power, and when something needs to be addressed, they speak and act so the relationship remains healthy.
RC become adept at sharing enraged and fearful emotions, in a contained manner because they realize that if they want their mate to adhere to boundaries then they have to do so as well.
RC succinctly share what they are thinking, what they are feeling, what they need (and how they will be responsible for meeting their need), and “reasonable requests” for their partner to consider implementing that could be helpful for the coupleship as they move forward.
RC demonstrate balance and equality in their relationship by sharing responsibilities, divisions of labor and initiative taking in all of the intimacy areas (conflict, genital, emotional, spiritual).
RC understand the need to have a “Fire Drill” plan in place, in their Tool Belt, to be practiced regularly and to be implemented immediately when one or both smell craziness in the air.
RC invest their time, creativity and energy in Cultivating Love with each another, as they know the use of their energy in this manner yields the most fruitful returns that are edifying to them.
“Recovering Couples Do Heal” is an excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr. Ken McGill.
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