Thank you for reading Recovering Couples Do Heal (Part 1 of 2).  Below are a few characteristics and practices that Recovering Couples consider important and helpful as they work toward becoming stronger people who are creating a stronger relationship.

Recovering Couples (“RC”) embrace and grow as spiritual people, and draw heavily on inspirational literature, music, or practices that motivate, focus, guide and empower them to live sanely one day at a time.

RC adopt healthy rituals based on the values they choose to live by. RCs say I love you (Love), talk with each other before making major purchases (Collaboration) to name a few new rituals.

RC realize that loving their neighbor (their spouse, children, etc.) in healthy ways flows from what they have learned regarding how to love their own self in healthy ways.

RC don’t self medicate their feelings through their sexuality. However, RCs bring health and power to the sexual crucible when their spiritual attunement helps them to value each other…

… and in the process return honor, worth, desire, enjoyment, protection and love to this sacred and precious part of their existence, their sexuality and their sexual expression.

RC listen to their conscience, to the “wiggles” in their gut and to their Higher Power, and when something needs to be addressed, they speak and act so the relationship remains healthy.

RC become adept at sharing enraged and fearful emotions, in a contained manner because they realize that if they want their mate to adhere to boundaries then they have to do so as well.

RC succinctly share what they are thinking, what they are feeling, what they need (and how they will be responsible for meeting their need), and “reasonable requests” for their partner to consider implementing that could be helpful for the coupleship as they move forward.

RC demonstrate balance and equality in their relationship by sharing responsibilities, divisions of labor and initiative taking in all of the intimacy areas (conflict, genital, emotional, spiritual).

RC understand the need to have a “Fire Drill” plan in place, in their Tool Belt, to be practiced regularly and to be implemented immediately when one or both smell craziness in the air.

RC invest their time, creativity and energy in Cultivating Love with each another, as they know the use of their energy in this manner yields the most fruitful returns that are edifying to them.

“Recovering Couples Do Heal” is an excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr. Ken McGill.

If these suggestions are helpful to you, please click here to read “Couples Who Recover” Part 1 of 2 and Part 2 of 2.

Please retweet or pass this post along to others if you think it would be of interest to them, and as time permits, please visit Daily Bread for Life for other information about personal growth.

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About Dr Ken McGill

Dr. Ken McGill is an ordained minister and has been involved in counseling for more than 25 years. Dr. McGill holds a Bachelor's degree in Religion from Pacific Christian College (now Hope International University), a Certificate of Completion in the Alcohol and Drug Studies/Counseling Program from the University of California at Los Angeles and a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Dr. McGill received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Psychology from Azusa Pacific University in May, 2003. Dr. McGill's dissertation focused on the development of an integrated treatment program for the sexually addicted homeless population, and Ken was "personally mentored" by dissertation committee member Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field of sex addiction work. Dr. McGill authored a chapter in the text The Clinical Management of Sex Addiction, with his chapter addressing the homeless and sex addiction. Dr. McGill is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the States of Texas and California and Mississippi, and is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, through the International Institute for Trauma and Addictive Professionals (IITAP). Dr. McGill had a private practice in Glendora, CA (Aspen Counseling Center), Inglewood, CA (Faithful Central Bible Church), and Hattiesburg, MS (River of Life Church), specializing in the following areas with individuals, couples, families, groups and psychoeducational training: addictions and recovery, pre-marital, marital and family counseling, issues related to traumatization and abuse, as well as depression, grief, loss, anger management and men's and women's issues. Dr. McGill also provided psychotherapeutic treatment with Student-Athletes on the University of Southern Mississippi Football and Men's Basketball teams. Dr. McGill served as the Director of the Gentle Path Program, which is a seven-week residential program, for people who are challenged with sexual addiction, sexual anorexia, and relationship issues. Dr. McGill also supervised Doctoral students in the Southern Mississippi Psychology Internship Consortium with the University of Southern Mississippi. Dr. McGill was inducted into the Azusa Pacific University Academic Hall of Honor, School of Behavioral and Applied Sciences, in October, 2010. Dr. McGill currently works as a Private practice clinician with an office in Plano, Texas, providing treatment with people who are challenged in the areas mentioned above.

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