With the practice of these Empowering E’s you have safely arrived on the shore and have escaped the danger of the Killer D’s! Thanks for reading the Introduction to the Killer D’s and the Empowering E’s (Part 1 of 3) and the definitions of the Killer D’s in (Part 2 of 3).  In this post, we […]

In the Introduction to the Killer D’s and the Empowering E’s (Part 1 of 3), we briefly looked at how the practice of these specific words that begin with the letter “D” tend to derail or “kill off” communication, connection and intimacy, within ourselves and in relationships that are important to us (Spouse, Children, Parents, […]

(This excerpt is taken from Addiction Saboteurs – Slips, Relapses and My Course Correction in Cultivating Love: Finishing Strong by Dr Ken McGill) What follows are some suggestions for you to consider implementing if you have been experiencing slips or relapses in your life.  Please, take what you can use and pass this along to […]

(This excerpt is taken from Addiction Saboteurs – Slips, Relapses and My Course Correction in Cultivating Love: Finishing Strong by Dr Ken McGill) The purpose of this assignment is to identify the thoughts, feelings, behavior and situations that may arise in your life that could lead to a Slip or a Relapse. A Slip (often called […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love and Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) As with any work you do, you will need to take breaks. Becoming skilled at loving yourself and others infers that you will demonstrate patience, which is beautifully captured in the picture above. Being patient, which I remind you is a cultivated skill originally […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love and Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) The tools we use to grow love are many and varied in use and in function. We become aware of our need to have tools when adverse situations arise in our life (affairs, loss and grief, boundary failures, traumatization, etc.), or in times of […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love and Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) Each person has 7 primary “rows” or life areas in the garden of their life, in which some form of work is to be done each day. The rows are simply labeled Spiritual, Cognitive, Emotional, Physical/Biological, Sexual, Social/Relational and finally Environmental. Each day, we […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love and Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) It all starts right here…with the soil. If anything is going to grow it begins with the energy that is available in the soil to begin the transformation. We will grow something. Biblical Insight: Transformation begins with the 3 things not created by Man, […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) If you have one hour to live, how would you wish to spend this sacred time? How would you treat your enemies? Would you even have enemies? How would you treat your family and friends? How would you treat those that you may […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Growing Character by Dr Ken McGill) Cultivating Love Growing Character is the fifth book in the Cultivating Love series and is actually a revised excerpt from Cultivating Love Renewal (Book 1), Cultivating Love Finishing Strong (Book 3) and Cultivating Love When Secrets Surface (Book 4). Growing Character is released as […]

A Quick Reference guide to help you move from relationship conflict to relationship renewal (An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) (This version provides biblical insight to help you move from relationship conflict to relationship renewal) “RESET” R: Remove yourselves from each other. Call a Time Out! “May the Lord answer […]

A Quick Reference guide to help you move from relationship conflict to relationship renewal (An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) “RESET” R: Remove yourselves from each other. Call a Time Out! Calling a time out for 20 minutes, 2 hours or up to 24 hours is crucial to allow you […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) “Teacher, we know you are a man of Integrity (Alethes; also the word for Truth)” Matthew 22: 16 (NIV) God also places great value in our ability to integrate knowledge or what we have learned “into a whole” (like we are assembling puzzle […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) God places great value and importance on us gaining and growing in knowledge, insight, perception, and understanding of Him, ourselves, our spouses, others and of course, about our behaviors and the impact of our behaviors (positive and negative) upon others. The definitions, “targets” […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) (Excerpted from Section Two: Assessing the Soil). This section is about engaging in work that helps you to examine your heart, your behavior, and to see, hear and understand how your behavior has traumatized and deeply wounded your spouse (whether intentional or unintentional […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) The picture above is a “snapshot” of your 7 Core Areas, based on a passage in the Bible in which we derive the “Two Greatest Commandaments” (Luke 10:25–28; see Part 1 of 2 for this scripture). We are encouraged to provide care to our 7 […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Renewal by Dr Ken McGill) “On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is replied in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered: ‘Love the Lord your God with […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) “Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up” — James 4: 9–10 (NIV). I wrote this paragraph during the Christmas Holidays of 2012, and I wrote it with […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface from Dr Ken McGill) Recorded here are some thoughts based in I Corinthians 13 as you consider the subject of recovering from infidelity. My thoughts about this passage of scripture and my comments are not meant to simplify the issue nor persuade you to make an quick, […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) A few tips to help you and your spouse create effective communication Listening occurs when… 1. …I silence the rebuttal going on in my head and cease listening defensively. 2. …I ask questions that help me to perceive, to know and to become familiar […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) A few tips to help you and your spouse create effective communication Speaking occurs when… 1. …I remember that the person that I am speaking to is not the enemy. 2. …I remember the reason I am speaking is to make things better. 3. […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Finishing Strong by Dr Ken McGill) Do you remember the word Epithumia (defined at the end of the article), one of the five Greek words for Love? Well, there is additional insight for us to attain as we explore this word, which could prove to be pivotal in your overall […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface by Dr Ken McGill) It’s hot, concentrated and has been under pressure. It’s earthy and may be bitter, sour, strong or sweet. If handled incorrectly, or misplaced, it could burn, but if managed well and accurately placed, this could be one of the best gifts you give […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Growing Character by Dr Ken McGill) In light of the comments made on the “Choices – Find …Yourself” document, I would love for you to read and integrate the scripture below to inform your study and support the comments with the outcome being your continued growth and personal transformation (2 […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Growing Character by Dr Ken McGill) I call this handout CHOICES, and in reading it I hope that you are simply reminded that you do have the ability to make healthy choices for yourself regarding the destination, the quality of life and to a large degree, the outcomes that you […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) When your communication becomes stalled in conflict and impasses and misunderstanding develop between the two of you, calling a “Time-Out” in order to repair the breakdown could be an effective strategy to help the two of you to get back on track with what you […]

(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication by Dr Ken McGill) What follows are some simple suggestions to assist you and your partner to respectfully resolve any conflict that is currently creating an impasse between the two of you. A   Attack the issue and not the person. Remember, the other person is not your enemy, […]