(An excerpt from Cultivating Love: Growing Character by Dr Ken McGill)

In light of the comments made on the “Choices – Find …Yourself” document, I would love for you to read and integrate the scripture below to inform your study and support the comments with the outcome being your continued growth and personal transformation (2 Timothy 3: 16-17).

The “SHAME-LESS” Air above Ground (“You will be like God…”) – In this area…

The Book of Jude reminds us of the consequences we will experience if we return to making “Bargains with Chaos.” In this area, we

      …Do not Glorify God (Romans 1:21). …Tempt and Entice ourselves and misuse our Energy to conceive unhealthy if not downright evil behaviors (James 1:13-15). …Refuse to love the Truth (2 Thessalonians 2:10). …Are Lovers of Ourselves and Money, Boastful, Proud, Abusive, Disobedient to Family members, Ungrateful, Unholy, Without Love, Unforgiving, Slanderous, Without Self-Control, Brutal, Treacherous, Rash, Conceited, Lovers of Pleasure rather than being Lovers of God and the kicker is we have a “form” of Godliness (2 Timothy 3:2-5). …Are loud, undisciplined and live ignorantly (Proverbs 9:13). …Live Very Dangerously (Romans 3:12-18). …Know the Word of God and use it to tempt others (Matthew 4:1-11). …Mercilessly Traumatize others (Acts 19:13-16). …Engage in Immoral, Impure, Sensual, Idolatrous behaviors marked by Hatred, Jealousy, Fits of Anger, Selfish Ambition, Envy, Drunkenness, Carousing and things like these (Galatians 5:19-21). …“Soul Murder,” Engage in Strife, Deceit, Malice, Arrogance, Boasting and we invent ways of doing Evil (Romans 1:29-30). …Have corrupted Minds and Consciences (Titus 1:15).

In a moment of clarity, we remember that God has a plan for us, not to hurt us nor harm us but to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). We realize that the heart of the matter is this is a battle for our Human Heart. God’s Plan for us has always been to integrate His Heart into our Humanity (John 15:1-5, 8). We realize His power is made real in our hearts when we admit our “weaknesses” (2 Corinthians 12:9) and when we submit to Him who provides His Power to us abundantly (John 10:10-11). We realize we are not God but humans. In this area, we…

The Healthy Middle Ground of Life: OUR HUMANITY – In this area…

    …Allow as best as we able for God to permeate the 7 Core areas of our Lives (Spiritual, Cognitive, Emotional, Physical/Biological, Sexual, Social/Relational and Environmental – Luke 10:25-28). …Love, because God first loved us (I John 4:19). …Renew our Minds (Romans 12: 1-2). …Appropriately grieve our losses and seek assistance from God in these critical times of need (James 4:9-10). …Engage in good self-care of our mind and our physical bodies (I Corinthians 3:16). …Avoid sexual immorality and learn to control our lusts and passions (I Thessalonians 3:4). …Don’t throw stones at others because we live in “Glass Houses” (John 8:1-11). …Become Agents of Change (Matthew 5:43-45). § …Pray Continuously (I Thessalonians 5:17). …Know the Truth and realize that by living in it we are Free (John 8:32). …Increase our Listening Skills, are Mindful with our Speech and Contain our Emotions (James 1:19). …Engage in edifying and empowering experiences in which Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control are produced to edify and empower others in our lives (Galatians 5:22-23). …Are excited by our spouse (Proverbs 5:18-19). …Practice Compassion, Kindness, Gentleness and Patience; We bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances we have against each other because we remember that Our God forgave us (Colossians 3:12-13). …Come to the assistance of others who need Grace because at one time, probably recently, we needed grace as well (Galatians 6:1-3). § …Ask for and expect God to create a new heart within us (Psalm 51:10). …Integrate God’s word in our Heart so we make right decisions (Psalm 119:11). …Strive to be Humble, Gentle and Patient (Ephesians 4: 2). …Have a balanced view on working for earthly and heavenly outcomes (Colossians 3:2). …Extinguish the opportunities to engage the maladaptive and addictive behaviors of our past (I Corinthians 6: 18-20). …Think, Speak and Do whatever is True, Noble, Right, Pure, Lovely, Admirable, Excellent, Praiseworthy and we endeavor to practice these in all our affairs (Philippians 4:8-9). …Love our Enemies and Pray for the ones who really get under our skin (Matthew 5:43-45). § …Confess our Sins, Pray for one another and in so doing facilitate God’s Healing power within us and to others we come into contact with (James 5:16). …Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit (Philippians 2:3). …Are aware that those we associate with could have a negative impact on our lives and behavior (I Corinthians 15:33). …Love our Partners and our Children (Ephesians 5:25 and 6:4). …Hate what is evil and cling to that which is good (Romans 12:9). …Realize that God can take our messes and miseries and convert them to our ministries (Romans 8:28). …Aim to be productive in all our encounters (John 15:4-5). …Seek to become skilled at Living (Proverbs 2:1-6). § …Love God and Our Neighbors because this is Life (Luke 10:25-28). …Realize and work a Spiritual Program of Recovery (Romans 8:37-39). …Are devoted to one another in brotherly love and our behavior is marked by honoring each other (Romans 12:10). …Pace ourselves in the race of life (Hebrews 12:3). …When it comes to cultivating our recovery and repairing our marriage we throw away the stopwatch and pull out the calendar (Romans 5:3-5; 8:18). …Realize we are more than the sum total of our maladaptive behaviors (I Peter 2:9-12). …Love others as a reflection of our growth (John 13:34-35). …Become Reconcilers (2 Corinthians 5: 17-21). …We walk in the Light (Psalm 56:13). …Attempt to make our life count for something by “finishing strong” (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

 The Book of Proverbs reveals treacherous outcomes if we fail to integrate and learn from our choice(s) to seek false empowerment. “Evil comes to him who searches for it” (11:27); “The way of the wicked is like deep darkness, they do not know what makes them stumble” (4:19); “An evil man is snared by his own sin” (29:6). Being insensitive to these realities could lead to…

The “SHAME-FILLED” Toxic Dump below Ground – In this area…

      …Hear the voice of the Devil, whose intent is the opposite of our Merciful God (Genesis 3:1, 4; John 8:43-44). …Experience physiological consequences when we are silent with our secrets (Psalms 32:1-5). …Have difficulty making sense of our behavior and experiences (Proverbs 4:19). …Fail to realize we need a Spiritual Program of Recovery (Matthew 12:43-45). …Are extremely apathetic (Ecclesiastes 1:2). …Give audience to the Self-Delusion (2 Thessalonians 2:9-12), and…We may go back “out there” (Genesis 19:17, 26). …Become Selfish and Indignant with God (Jonah 4:1-3) but…We may get a Spiritual Reality Check (Job 40:1-14). …May come to realize that God delivers us from our fears (Psalm 34:4). …May recall that God is close to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18). …May recall that God is a merciful God (Psalm 86:15-17; Psalm 6:2-4). …May genuinely call out to God for His Divine Assistance in this critical time of our lives (Psalm 38). …Humble ourselves before God, so He could lift us up (James 4:10). …May miss the Opportunity (2 Timothy 4:9) or…We may Come to Believe in a Power Greater than Ourselves (Titus 3:3-6).

 Euphoric recall extinguishes the Light of the Original Hope, promised to us by God (2 Chronicles 7:14; Matthew 6:22-23). This may cause us to bypass Our Humanity again and opt for a Shameless encounter. However, even as the Original Deception/Lie of the Evil One (Genesis 3:1-5), is heard, Our God helps us to realize we have choices (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). So going forward what choices will you make?

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About Dr Ken McGill

Dr. Ken McGill is an ordained minister and has been involved in counseling for more than 25 years. Dr. McGill holds a Bachelor's degree in Religion from Pacific Christian College (now Hope International University), a Certificate of Completion in the Alcohol and Drug Studies/Counseling Program from the University of California at Los Angeles and a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Dr. McGill received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Psychology from Azusa Pacific University in May, 2003. Dr. McGill's dissertation focused on the development of an integrated treatment program for the sexually addicted homeless population, and Ken was "personally mentored" by dissertation committee member Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field of sex addiction work. Dr. McGill authored a chapter in the text The Clinical Management of Sex Addiction, with his chapter addressing the homeless and sex addiction. Dr. McGill is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the States of Texas and California and Mississippi, and is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, through the International Institute for Trauma and Addictive Professionals (IITAP). Dr. McGill had a private practice in Glendora, CA (Aspen Counseling Center), Inglewood, CA (Faithful Central Bible Church), and Hattiesburg, MS (River of Life Church), specializing in the following areas with individuals, couples, families, groups and psychoeducational training: addictions and recovery, pre-marital, marital and family counseling, issues related to traumatization and abuse, as well as depression, grief, loss, anger management and men's and women's issues. Dr. McGill also provided psychotherapeutic treatment with Student-Athletes on the University of Southern Mississippi Football and Men's Basketball teams. Dr. McGill served as the Director of the Gentle Path Program, which is a seven-week residential program, for people who are challenged with sexual addiction, sexual anorexia, and relationship issues. Dr. McGill also supervised Doctoral students in the Southern Mississippi Psychology Internship Consortium with the University of Southern Mississippi. Dr. McGill was inducted into the Azusa Pacific University Academic Hall of Honor, School of Behavioral and Applied Sciences, in October, 2010. Dr. McGill currently works as a Private practice clinician with an office in Plano, Texas, providing treatment with people who are challenged in the areas mentioned above.

Category

addiction, affair, christian, communication, Daily Bread for Addressing Compulsion, family, marriage, psychology, recover, recovery, relationship, relationships, sex addiction, sober, sobriety, spirituality, theology