Flavor #28: Skilled Outcomes (Epiginosko; Prasso; Brabeion/Stephanos)

(Complete list and links to the 31 Flavors of Wisdom)

1. Meaning, Essence, and Significance: Skilled Outcomes, especially in love and relational restoration, are grounded in the Greek term Epiginosko: a deep, experiential understanding born from observation, reflection, and intentional action. It moves beyond mere awareness to a comprehensive knowledge (#3) that transforms how you effectively interact with others. Paired with Prasso, meaning “to practice continually as if you’re not finished,” invites you into a lifestyle of humility, repetition, and refinement. As illustrated in 1 Corinthians 9:24–27, the Apostle Paul likens this kind of living to an athlete striving for the Brabeion, which is a prize awarded only after legitimate, disciplined effort, has been verified by the Brabeus (umpire). The Stephanos, a crown of victory, is placed on the head of the person who won the race. In your marriage, that singular devotion and honor belongs to your spouse. They are the only rightful recipient of the “gold medal, blue ribbon, or first place” effort of your passion, commitment, and daily best.

2. Practical Manifestation and Nutritional Value: Practicing Epiginosko means you approach your relationships repeatedly with curiosity, empathy, and understanding, coupled with your intentional engagement in intimacy-building behaviors. Engaging in this skilled behavior (#27) helps you to know when and how to apply the appropriate “behavioral brushstrokes” of care so the other person (“your neighbor – 2.0) feels genuinely seen, supported, soothed, safe and secure. This kind of skilled behavior leads to wise, and compassionate decision-making, which are outcomes you’re aiming to achieve.  But there’s more.

As the Apostle Paul wrote, lasting transformation requires training marked by “agony,” which is behavior that’s a combination of reason (#12), sustained effort, focused discipline (#26) and a bit of vigor, due to the “training” you’re undertaking.  Like the Olympian who prepares four years for a 10-second race to obtain a gold medal, your investment in cultivating love that reflects skilled outcomes requires daily, devoted, and consistent discipline, even when the results you’re working toward are not immediate. Yes, you’re correct to infer that second-place efforts will not win first place prizes, however, over time, this level of practice is transformative, and it does yield mutually beneficial outcomes!

3. Who Deserves Some of This Seasoning? “My spouse deserves this Epiginosko-inspired love more than anyone. Recently, during dinner, I noticed she was quiet. Instead of ignoring it, I slowed down, observed her cues, and asked gentle, open-ended questions, not to fix, but to understand her. She opened up about a family issue weighing on her, and I responded with ‘behavioral brushstrokes:’ putting away distractions, validating her feelings, and offering a back rub instead of advice. This wasn’t a one-time gesture; I’ve been practicing consistent presence, and we’re better off for it. Intimacy, I’ve learned, grows through small, repeated acts of care. She deserves the gold medal version of my love; first-place energy, not secondhand effort. Every day, I “train” to show up in ways that say, without words: ‘you matter most.’”

So thanks again for looking at these 31 Flavors of Wisdom and hopefully, participating in the 31 Day Wisdom Challenge, and for reading this excerpt from Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life. As time permits, please visit the other blogs written by Dr. Ken McGill: Daily Bread for Life and “3–2- 5–4–24” for additional information that could be helpful.