(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #13: Building Character and Building People, Part 3, in the Choosing Change series).
Printer -Friendly Version – Choosing Change – 24 R’s (McGill, 2019)
Since we’re in the “office or study” part of the house, I’ve taken the liberty to pause and reflect on life lessons that have helped me to become the person that I am. In my “study” I’ve noticed there are certain behaviors that I’ve practiced repetitively that begin with the letter R, that have proven to be beneficial either to me or to others in my life, and I wanted to share them with you. There are twenty-four in total.
I’ve noticed that practicing these “24 R’s” over the last 30 years has helped me to experience indispensable changes with my thoughts, feelings, insights and behavior, and has guided me to think about then engage in behaviors that matter when I’ve risen from my desk to rejoin the world after my “study sessions.” In the spirit of keeping it simple, I hope some if not all of these suggested processes will assist you in your endeavor to develop then integrate strategic, intentional and purposeful behaviors as a result of your own personal study sessions conducted in your study or home office.
The 24 R’s fall in three categories: Remind, Recovery and Renewal. How the 24 R’s have helped me is listed below, along with a few reflection questions. So I ask you to take what you can use, make it work for you, apply it, then enjoy the benefit of your work! I wish you the best in your process of Re-minding your thinking processes, Recovering and focusing on that which is vital and important in your life and above all, engaging in activities that Renew yourself and your relationships!
I encourage you to take a moment each day to reflect on and contemplate one of the R’s in each category. Think about what’s coming up for you and what changes you might wish to make as a result of your reflection. Feel free to include others in your reflection process as you devise your strategies; remember, there’s wisdom in the counsel of many (Proverbs 15:22). Finally, know that it could take some time to get all of these 24 R’s up and working effectively, so be merciful with yourself and with others who may be involved with your overall process, but by all means, do keep working!
- Reflection: Reminding begins with reflection, which beckons me to give careful consideration to what I’m thinking, feeling, or about what is important. What life issues beg for your deeper and focused reflection?
- Remind: Reminding occurs when my Adult Ego state pauses, thinks about causes and consequences, and makes good and considerate decisions the majority of the time. How could this reminding process help you?
- Recall: Recalling who I am (my identity) and what’s my purpose (to cultivate love in all my affairs) easily helps me to determine how I’m going to live. What’s your answer to these questions and how’s your recall?
- Reintroduce: Reintroducing printed, audio/visual or good counsel from others helps me hit my targets, reinforces my purpose, or validates the direction I’m traveling. What data might you want to reintroduce?
- Release: Releasing prompts me to let go of cognitive-distortions, ego defenses, maladaptive schema modes that my personality wants me to default to. How is your personality or mind out to get or derail you?
- Rewrite: Rewriting prompts me to replace my outdated “1.0” cognitive operating system with a creative and more considerate “2.0 Operating System” to live by. What new cognitive processes will you upload today?
- Remember: Above all, I need to remember my purpose is to demonstrate Agape Love. Where and to whom do you need to demonstrate Love, Esteem, Favor, Honor, Acceptance, Devotion, etc. as a reflection of Love?
- Recreate: As a result of working hard, I give myself the benefit of engaging in “healthy play,” which is fun, and also stimulates my brain and my creativity. What acceptable activity motivates you to be a better person?
- Revisit: Revisiting wise people and valuable activity that contributed to my past growth is something I revisit from time to time. If it was good then, it could be good, or better now. Who or what might you revisit?
- Resentment(s): I’ve learned it’s better to deal with challenging issues and the feelings associated with them sooner than later because ignoring them creates resentment. What issues/feelings do you need to resolve?
- Reset: Resetting occurs when I remove myself from bothersome stimuli to explore and learn about an issue, then cognitively recalibrate so I can effect constructive change. What could you and others gain by resetting?
- Refine: Refining occurs when I practice and get better at the good and right behaviors that I know to be helpful, to me or to others. Practice make proficiency, not perfection. What behavior(s) might you refine?
- Routines and Rituals: Practicing these 24 R’s (and others as well), to the best of my ability, has helped me to create and enjoy life-promoting routines/rituals and that work for me. What rituals promote life in you?
- Reinforce: Reinforcement occurs when I practice my rituals over and over. Doing so creates neuroplasticity, which means “the cells that fire together wire together.”What constructive connections are you reinforcing?
- Reconciliation: Reconciliation occurs when I choose to “lay aside wrathful behavior and simultaneously impart peaceful behavior.” It’s a character trait that my God provides. How could reconciliation help you?
- Resilient: Working a 12-Step program of recovery has helped me to connect with my God, cease harmful behaviors, recover my dignity and treat others thoughtfully and with respect. How could this help you?
- Ruptures to Repair: Not allowing Ruptures in my relationships to linger longer than 24 hrs. has been beneficial to me (and others), because serenity is a value I hold highly. What ruptures need your attention?
- Reason and Respect: When it comes to repairing ruptures, reason and respect call me to examine my part in the rupture and what reasonable response will I contribute for repair. What’s your part and contribution?
- Recipes to Edify: Along with providing reasonable responses to repair, I’ve learned that Love, Empathy, Romance, Safety, Tenderness and Kindness are great recipes to “cook.” What recipes do you use for repair?
- Responsibility: I’ve learned regardless of the other person’s behavior, it’s important for me to “stay in my Adult ego state.” Doing so ensures I’ll use tools of repair versus weapons to harm. What’s your responsibility?
- Rachets and (W)renches: A long time ago I realized to do a job effectively I need to have top quality tools that I know how to use to accomplish repair and renewal. What necessary tools might you need to acquire?
- Rejuvenate: I’ve also realized malnutrition or dehydration is a direct result of not consuming regular quantities of food (data) that strengthens and informs my Psyche and Spirit. What data rejuvenates you?
- Regenerate: Personal and relational regeneration occurs when I practice the 10 principles of Agape, the 9 Fruit of the Spirit, the 5 Love Languages, the 2 Greatest Commandments and activity in the 7 Core Areas.
- Reevaluate: Finally, I’ve learned that introspection, feedback and reevaluation are valuable processes that have helped me to mature as an Agent of Change. What growth is occurring due to your reevaluation?
Thanks for reading this post on “The 24 R’s for Reflection, Reminding, Recovery and Renewal!”
As time permits, please visit the other blogs written by Dr. Ken McGill: Daily Bread for Life and “3 – 2 – 5 – 4 – 24″ for additional information that could be helpful. I welcome your comments below or via email and your favorites, your retweets and your “+1’s” if you have a brief moment and find the information helpful. Again, it is my desire to provide the very best info for your consideration.