Dr Ken McGill’s blog

Goal: To understand how your spiritual growth process has parallels with natural growth processes.      The definitions of the Nine Fruits of the Spirit (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control) and the Ten Descriptors of Agape Love (a person who Loves, Esteems, Cherishes, Respects, Favors, Honors, Accepts, Prizes, Relishes and demonstrates Devotion) appear later in this “Spiritual” subsection.  Growing these (and other) values, virtues, characteristics, and […]

Goal: To learn about, develop, deliver and enjoy these unique expressions of Love. Suggested Activity: Use your spiritual disciplines to help you determine the appropriate expression of love you’re to contribute to your own well-being, and for the well-being of the neighbors you encounter.  Skill you’d like to develop?  Next: A word about your Spiritual […]

Goal: To identify and practice selected Spiritual Disciplines to maintain a conscious contact with God. “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.  For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we […]

Printer-Friendly PDF – 26 (A – Z) Suggested Grounding Techniques by Dr. Ken McGill Use the suggestions below to help you decrease distress and anxiety, stay present and “in the moment” with your emotions, and cultivate emotional well-being experiences for yourself – Dr. Ken McGill A: Activate your ability to help yourself by employing these strategies and […]

Goal:  To grow your Environmental Core Area, which includes your thoughts, feelings, behavior and experiences about intentional, passionate, purposeful and fruitful living to affect the world in a significant manner. “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself” – Galatians 5:14 (TNIV) The Importance of this Core Area:  I’d venture to […]

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established, through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures” – Proverbs 24: 3- 4 (TNIV) Goal:  To grow your Social/Relational Core Area, which includes your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and experiences to engage in, build up and maintain mutual, meaningful, fun and respectful relationships. […]

Goal:  To grow your Sexual Core Area, which includes your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and experiences about engaging in actions that stimulate and facilitate connection, sensuality, sexual pleasure and spiritual intimacy.  The Importance of this Core Area:  There aren’t many things in life that could rival the significance of this core area and if there’s any row in […]

“Give us today our daily bread…”  Matthew 6:11 (TNIV) Goal:  To grow your Physical/Biological Core Area, which includes your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and experiences regarding living a bio- balanced life, evidenced by engagement in health and wellness producing activities and responsibilities.  The Importance of this Core Area:  This is one of the harder Core Areas to address in […]

Goal:  To grow your Emotional Core Area, which includes your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and experiences about the safe and open expression of a range of emotions and feelings that facilitate warmth, security, connection, understanding and importance. The Importance of this Core Area: The Ancient Greeks said, “the heart is the seat of all emotions,” and I’m […]

Printer-Friendly PDF – Ten steps to improve your Emotional Self-Awareness using the Emotions and Feelings Wheel by Dr Ken McGill Click here to view “Wisdom that Sticks: 365 Daily Insights for Living Wisely (Table of Contents)” by Dr. Ken McGill (www.drkenmcgill.com) Use the Feelings Wheel along with the questions on the opposite side of this […]

Goal:  To grow your Cognitive Core area, which includes (but is not limited to) your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and experiences concerning your brain, mind, intellect and the communication of your ideas, vision and viewpoints with others. The Importance of this Core Area: One person I lean heavily on who helps me make sense of the Cognitive […]

Goal:  To grow your Spiritual Core area, which includes (but is not limited to) your thoughts, feelings, behavior and experiences with God, Life, Spirituality, Morals, Values, Virtues and the cultivation and maintenance of Spiritual Empowerment. The Importance of this Core Area:  Your Spirituality is the lifeline of your existence. You’d be hard-pressed to experience a certain quality, […]

Goal:  To become aware of your 7 Core Areas, along with the necessity and benefit of daily work in these core parts of yourself.       “On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is replied in the Law?” he replied.  “How do […]

Goal: To become aware of and competent with a process of growing constructive thoughts and behaviors consistently. There are two insights I’d like to convey to you about growing wisdom (there are actually more, but I’ll condense it to two!). First, growing wisdom is much like the gardening experiences you may have had in your […]

Goal: To understand the value and components of making good, practical and wise decisions Proverbs 3:13-18: “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is […]

Cultivating Love: Choosing Change is available for purchase at Amazon! It’s with great joy that I’m able to announce the eighth and final book in the Cultivating Love series, Cultivating Love: Choosing Change is available for purchase in the Amazon bookstore!  Click here to order the Kindle or Paperback version. What’s in the book… Cultivating […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill “Choice – Purpose is a choice and the answer to the question WHY?; We are who we CHOOSE to be, so we should be very clear […]

Thank you for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places, and Safe Processes Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 1 of 2)  Choosing Change #3: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 2 of 2) Choosing Change #4: Gardening with […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill When you think of your bedroom and all that is shared, enjoyed, celebrated, protected and honored between you and your partner, one of the most difficult ordeals […]

Printer-Friendly PDF – Your 68 to 72 Degree Target Chart (Theological – Handout – Dr Ken McGill, 2020) (This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill In counseling sessions I’m prone to bring up […]

Printer-Friendly PDF  – Your 68 to 72 Degree Target Chart (Handout) (This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill In counseling sessions, I’m prone to bring up the “68° – 72° degree range” which […]

“Take it easy, pray for each other and look after your neighbor; when you live a long life, you learn to keep it simple” – John Gould, 94-year old Marine when asked if he worries about the Coronavirus (Dallas Morning News, March 15, 2020) Let me be clear about this from the outset. The life […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill This post on the subject of Betrayal Trauma, Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Sex Addicted Induced Trauma and Emotional Flashbacks was inspired by reading literature on […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #14: Living, Loving and Leaving a Legacy, which is a chapter in the book “Cultivating Love: Choosing Change” by Dr. Ken McGill Download this list: Choosing Change – Intimacy Building Behaviors (McGill, 2020) Every marriage or relationship will be as strong as the daily work that is poured […]

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” – John 8:31 – 32 (TNIV) Good morning and welcome to 2020! Over the past 4 years, the keywords I’ve written about to start the new year are Lovingkindness (2016), Understanding […]

Thank you for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places, and Safe Processes Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 1 of 2)  Choosing Change #3: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 2 of 2) Choosing Change #4: Gardening with […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #13: Building Character and Building People, Part 3, in the Choosing Change series). Printer -Friendly Version – Choosing Change – 24 R’s (McGill, 2019) Since we’re in the “office or study” part of the house, I’ve taken the liberty to pause and reflect on life lessons that have helped […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #13: Building Character and Building People (Part 3 of 3) in the Choosing Change series, inspired by the work of Dr. Dan Siegel and his colleague Dr. Tina Bryson. I’d also like to suggest you read Changing your Mind with LoveWorks and Changing your Mind with the Wheel of […]

(This post is an excerpt from Choosing Change #13: Building Character and Building People, Part 3, and is inspired by the book “The Blessing” by Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent     I first became aware of Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent’s book The Blessing during my Sophomore year in college. Having grown up in […]

  (This is a post in the Choosing Change series inspired by the work of Dr. Tina Bryson, USC. I’d also like to suggest you read Changing your Mind with LoveWorks and Changing Minds with the None Middle Prefrontal Cortex – Dr. McGill)   The Wheel of Awareness (adapted by Dr Ken McGill) (Printer-Friendly Version) The Wheel of Awareness […]

This post is an excerpt of Choosing Change #12: Building Character and Building People. It is also connected to another excerpt, Changing your Mind in the River of Integration (Psychological Goals, Activities and Skills) Changing your Mind in the River of Integration (Theological) – Printer-friendly version Thank you for taking time to examine how the […]

This post is an excerpt of Choosing Change #12: Building Character and Building People. It is also connected to another excerpt, Changing your Mind in the River of Integration (Theological Goals, Activities and Skills) Changing your Mind in the River of Integration (Psychological) – Printer-friendly version It’s my hope that by studying this information (in the […]

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11 (TNIV) Thank you for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places, and Safe Processes Choosing Change […]

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11 (TNIV) Thank you for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places, and Safe Processes Choosing Change […]

This is a post in the Choosing Change series inspired by the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, UCLA) When your Brain and Mind engages in goal-oriented activity to develop skills that produce constructive, functional, and “win-win” Relationship outcomes with the Brain and Mind of your partner, your effort not only results in the creation of […]

(This is a post in the Choosing Change series inspired by the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, UCLA) The River of Integration is a metaphor conceptualized by Dr. Dan Siegel (from his book Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, 2010), that describes how we as humans could travel successfully on “the river of life,” due to […]

(This is a post in the Choosing Change series inspired by the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, UCLA. I’d also like to suggest you read Changing your Mind with the Wheel of Awareness and Changing Minds with the Nine Middle Prefrontal Cortex – Dr. McGill) It’s the end of July in the United States, and […]

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” – […]

What follows is the basic “A-C-T-I-V-E” model, created by Dr Ken McGill (2017). I encourage you to view each of the links associated with the model, as the additional information provides supportive data that is relevant to each of the points in the model. In the next post, I’ll provide a clinical rationale for the […]

“My ally is the force and a powerful ally it is.” Yoda to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back Thank you for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places and Safe Processes Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part […]

Thanks for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places and Safe Processes Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 1 of 2)  Choosing Change #3: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 2 of 2) Choosing Change #4: Gardening with Intention […]

Thanks for reading… The Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1: Safe People, Safe Places and Safe Processes Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 1 of 2)  Choosing Change #3: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 2 of 2) Choosing Change #4: Gardening with Intention […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1, Choosing Change #2, Choosing Change #3 and Choosing Change #4. In Choosing Change #2: Safe People, Safe Places and Safe Processes, we explored the need to create safe places within our person and within our relationships, because safety, whether its experienced intrapersonally (within yourself) […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1, Choosing Change #2 and Choosing Change #3. On most evenings after I graduated from Antioch University (1994) with my Masters in Clinical Psychology, I continued my daily study habits by sitting down at the kitchen table after dinner with no less than three […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Choosing Change, Choosing Change #1 and Choosing Change #2. In the previous post, Choosing Change #2: So what’s my reasonable contribution to your change process? (Part 1 of 2), I asked you to consider the question above and introduced a concept called the “66%-33% Solution.” With the 66% part […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Choosing Change and Choosing Change #1. So as a Psychotherapist, but more importantly, as a human being who cares about others, I’d like for you to consider the following question: What’s my (Dr. McGill’s) reasonable contribution to your change, healing and growth process?  Embedded in this question are other questions: […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post in the Choosing Change series. If you’ve seen any of the Star Wars™ movies more than likely you’ll remember the scene depicted in the photo above from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Obi-Wan Kenobi has just rescued an injured Luke Skywalker from the dreaded sand people and R2-D2, […]

Let me welcome you to a series of posts that I’m calling “Choosing Change.” I’m writing about this subject for multiple reasons, but primarily because I wish to provide you with my thoughts regarding how we change, what helps us to change, what impedes our change and how to sustain positive change in order to develop, grow […]

I started working as a Staff Psychotherapist at the University Counseling Center at Azusa Pacific University  when my daughter was 5 and my son was a one-year old. My wife and I can’t believe that next year he’ll be heading off to a college campus, which is where many of you, as a student or […]

I awakened with these lyrics playing in my mind: “It is finished, He has done it, life conquered death, Jesus Christ, has done it!” It’s no doubt that people have been praying for Leslie, Gabriel and I as today marks the 8th year since Marissa went home to be with Jesus, and in the processed […]

I was introduced to this book by Dr. John Powell during my Sophomore year in College in a class called Personality Development. Little did I know at the time that it would have a profound impact on my life and I can safely say on the lives of countless others who I have met through […]

I think I’m finally getting the hang of this…this dancing thing, ah, dancing with emotions that is. What I mean by this is I figured out that I need to take care of the right brain before I move in with the left brain. Right brain processing tends to deal with the emotions and the […]

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” – Proverbs 16:24 (TNIV) Thanks for reading the six previous posts about Empathy (Introduction, Empathy #1, Empathy #2, Empathy #3, Empathy #4 and Empathy #5). In what will in all likelihood be the final post on Empathy in this series, I wish […]

Thanks for reading the five previous posts about Empathy (Introduction, Empathy #1, Empathy #2, Empathy #3 and Empathy #4). A few days ago, my wife, son and I were watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on the Cooking Channel™.  I mentioned to my son that shortly after we were married some 25 years ago, his Mom and […]

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” – Zig Ziglar’s adaptation of President Theodore Roosevelt’s quote Thanks for reading the four previous posts about Empathy (Introduction, Empathy #1, Empathy #2 and Empathy #3). Regardless of where you first heard the quote, the fact of the matter is that it is true. […]

Thanks for reading the three previous posts about Empathy (Introduction, Empathy #1 and Empathy #2). Whether you have used the words in the title of this post in a prayer to your Higher Power or if you’ve conveyed the words to your spouse or partner, seeking to understand the condition of the heart of another is a prime […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Empathy and Empathy #1: Visit the Gallery of the Heart. And now, time for a short lesson that combines Biology, Psychology and Theology. The Ancient Greeks (and contemporary Neurobiology; Chart #3) thought your Viscera (your internal organs such as your heart, stomach, liver, kidneys, intestines, reproductive system, etc.) is where […]

Thanks for reading the Introductory post about Empathy, but now I have a question for you. When was the last time you visited an art gallery and viewed the treasured pieces of art that were displayed? If you remember your last visit, and if you recall the time you took to walk through the halls and […]

I have wanted to look at Empathy and the actions that flow from this healing behavior for a long time now. In the work that I do as a Therapist, but also by just trying to be empathetic as a human being, I think Empathy is one of the kindest and most profound of all expressions that […]

Thanks for reading the previous post, “So what did you learn at your conference?” (Day 1 of 3), which highlighted what I learned at the 21st Annual Counseling Skills conference in Dallas, Tx, over September 24th – 26th. As mentioned in the first post, I wanted to share a few of the helpful things I […]

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” – Psalm 139:23-24 (TNIV) In Hall of Fame Insight to Overcome Addiction (Part 1 of 2), we looked at how other people and processes […]

Thank you for reading “Who Influenced You? Exploring your Purpose and Legacy” (Part 1 of 3 and Part 2 of 3). In this post I wanted to share about a few of the “appointed” people in my life who were sent by God to help me to be a good, productive and purposeful human being. […]

Thank you for reading “Who Influenced You? Exploring your Purpose and Legacy” (Part 1 of 3). In this follow up post, have you ever considered who may have been “appointed” to you, because they have been a positive, influential, character driven, principled, role model in your past? Even if your encounters with that person(s) were […]

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11 (TNIV) You know that you were created for something other than to misplace your passion, and subsequently, to not achieve your purpose in […]

Thank you for reading Recovering Couples Do Heal (Part 1 of 2).  Below are a few characteristics and practices that Recovering Couples consider important and helpful as they work toward becoming stronger people who are creating a stronger relationship. Recovering Couples (“RC”) embrace and grow as spiritual people, and draw heavily on inspirational literature, music, […]

Below are a few characteristics and practices that Recovering Couples consider important and helpful as they work toward becoming stronger people who are creating a stronger relationship. Recovering Couples (“RC”) surrender efforts at trying to change their partner for their personal benefit, but do seek to change the person which they can control – themselves. […]

 Dr Ken McGill’s Cultivating Love Books on Amazon Cultivating Love When Secrets Surface is a book in the Cultivating Love book series, and is an in-depth exploration of how to deal with the discovery of unfaithfulness, with insight and practical exercises to help you make safe, informed and healthy choices regarding what direction you wish to […]